Are You Dating to Wed or to Get in the Bed: Does Your Value System Align?

Are you tired of dating and have not had the success you desire. Here are some things to consider when dating, so you may have a healthier relationship.  

Dating is process when two people meet socially and desire to have companionship with each other. In dating it is extremely important to understand your personal goals and value system. If you aspire to be married, then you should date someone that is also looking to get married. Like attracts like, so what are you attracting? Something else to consider is to understand what results would you like. Have conversations to figure out if the person you are dating or considering dating  is going in the same direction as you are. Ask yourself if you have the same value system, are your goals aligned? Do you simply  want to have a good time or are you looking for something more serious such as finding a life partner that results  in marriage. 

Everyone that dates is looking to get something out of the dating process. The important area to focus on is  what is it that you truly want?  Find out what the person you are dating wants. You may have the same goals and that's awesome. However you will never know unless conversations like this are discussed. Your  goal may be to be married, while the person you are dating goal may be to travel, have sexual relations and all the benefits of a relationship without any type of commitment. Ask yourself the question, does this align with my value system. If it does not, keep it MOVING!  If your goals are not aligned, that means you are not going in the same direction and it it time to make a decision. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, " God is faithful and that he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear and when you are tempted he will provide a way out so that you can stand." So stay awake and alert, the universe is always speaking. What is it saying to you? What have you learned based off your dating experience? Ask yourself is this someone you'd like to continue to date or is it time to make a decision, recognizing  that you may not be a good fit for each other. If your are you committed to being celibate and the person you are dating feels that just  because you have been dating you should have sex, your value systems are not aligned. Just because you play together doesn't mean you have to lay together.   Don't get caught up in chemistry, or fear of being alone. Staying in a situation that dishonors your value system affects you psychologically and emotionally. Whatever decision you make make sure it is a decision that honors you.

 Build a genuine relationship with the person you are dating. Find out if you really like the person.  Get clear about if you really like the person or do you like the idea of the person. A confused mind doesn't make a decision. Get clear on your personal values so you can move forward and have the type of dating relationship you desire to have. Make sure when you say yes to someone else, you are not saying no to yourself. Sometimes the best decisions are the hardest decisions to make, however they are the decisions that need to be made. Do what's best for you and your value system,  not what's in the best interest of others. 

 

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Peace and Blessings - Penny